I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize