She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
