I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
