Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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