I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
