I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
