i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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