some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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