Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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