I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
