Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
