You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
