hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
