would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
