I'm lost and stupid without you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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