She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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