Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
