I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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