I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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