That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
