Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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