decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
