I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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