on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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