there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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