WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
