I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
