I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
