Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
