sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
