My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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