she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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