guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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