i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
