Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
