i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
