great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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