The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can I color on your dick again?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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