I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
