dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
