Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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