New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
