well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
