I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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