i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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