I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i already hear my dad disowning me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
