What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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