break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
