I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
