She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's official drugs can't kill me
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
