TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So many bounce houses so little time
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize