dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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