I wannas sexs uuuuu
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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