My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
