God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
