Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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