Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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