i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
