Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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