Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They are going to name an STD after you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
