What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
