If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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