For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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