thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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