My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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