Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
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