Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
